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Grow up more and more lonely
07:16, 2009-Dec-7
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Grow up more and more lonely Wear from the lane today, does not know the pear flower in whose courtyard it is has been stretched out of wall. Stop the foot to stare at, it it seemses that each is smiling at me, I smile too Look up at this sky, still as gloomy the same as winter, March obviously, but I can not find the taste in spring. Turn round and look again, that pear flower opens out dazzling and white, spring is not here. See colleague tear, come down by petal slices rose, desk that a dazzling one red. Push away and open the door, in face of the wind, sheds the petal in the sky, then see the petal goes with the wind. Do they say, why are not you like jade of black pigment? Bury the petal. Petal that see on the ground falling scattered wind blowing off ruthlessly, I think why still have black pigment jade? Such 1,000 pieces of samsara, even if black pigment jade reincarnation, will she still be so melancholy? ? So deep sorrow, go through it so long, should too have been diluted by time. It is the night. It is desolate like air. Counting one's own heartbeat silently, is listening to the clock and watch ticktack on the wall, time is passing, time is in the samsara, the ones that do not only change are the stars in the night sky, flash untiringly. This goes through heart eroding time, no longer as carefree and happy as that when being young. Has grown up, worried, the experience, tired, through the whole journey, walk the more lonely. Every day, everybody, each story, the variety that is not all suspending. All person and thing deduce the in riotous profusion world, who is I, a drop of water to cross sea, a grain of sand in the desert, though incorporate this world, but I, like people, isolating. All is happy, carefree, leave with the great waves, all die with sand blown by the wind. I find, I have already been incompatible with this world I disguise one's own mood gaudily dressedly, to cover up the melancholy of heart. Shuttle back and forth in crowd, perhaps everybody wears different masks like me. Yes, we live, however, do not always live for oneself. Having grown up, ones that thought are many too, the range that considers is more overall too. We are complying with law and morality and justice, in bond on this narrow and small space, can to live is no better than to die torment sometimes, but we afford to also want the grievance. The plane mirror all around is refracting this pale face, reflecting on this gloomy day, dull and dreary. If time can how finely does it stay cool, if time can how well does it flow backwards, if time can listen to how kindly I command, if Everything, it is only that if. I can not let time stay cool, should not let time flow backwards either, become, happen magic let time listen to me command still more, I can only leave it to chance, let time be led by the nose. Have grown up, also vast and hazy. Without way of the end, two feet go ahead ceaselessly, can't stop either even if tired. Can forget time, but can not forget one's own existence. Can forget oneself, but can not forget the slipping by of time. Let's go, Let's go, people always grow up lonelily. Wanton thought
07:10, 2009-Dec-7
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Wanton thought Count the stars, one, two, three Eh, the stars are blinking, so beautiful expression. Sky really so pure, have other things tired of feeling of it very fine, sky with stars to it seems to be one picture, tear, come down, make it pieces of undershirt it dresses to be will certainly be very much cool, no, perhaps it will dislike and avoid me I should not be reluctant, it, or else its hurt and wronged tears will soak this land in front of me, can I coax it? Does it allow me to do in this way? Choose to withdraw Without courage, my corner is in that! I came out just now, oh Very silly, it is safe to climb, answer in my corner, has not quarrelled over, has not asked reprovingly, it is pretty good to become an onlooker Is it? The sincere words? No, the lie, my excuse ,I tired, want, lie down, have a rest, staying silent, try to escape reality when being dim, the true thing is turned into the ruins What I did is very free and easy, do not leave any sensibilities, ruthless and ruthless and ruthless Seize the authority that you retrieve, it is late, it is of no use to say everything Look for a mat to lie down, uncle, your appearance in rags is very agreeable, the moustache is very long too, non- whole, right Oh, unnecessary to be whole correctly, we are beggars! Did that woman eat to you this morning? Eat and eat Impetuous, has taken and left, well Up to you! I am very angry, what grateful words have not you said Does not in fact use either, everybody's relation is not so good either, strike two so scatteredly as to calculate ,It is pitiful to see you, the gentle one is just given mercily to you. Eh! One day, the irritated one would die It want and not want come one after another,delete by pieces of net friend today, delete This is not the result that I want, but my fault, let's spit me I go to relieve boredom on the vacant lot of the backyard, wear my favorite clothes and shoes, there is wind, it is very comfortable to brush the feeling of the cheek, I choose to close one's eyes at this time, imagination It is the dreamland, there is the butterfly that flutters in the wild country all over the sky, the green grass on the hillside is extremely intensive, the herdsman is driving the flocks of sheep to come to this Holy Land to enjoy the delicious food and picnic on horse The feeling chewed is very good, fresh Brush teeth halitosis, kiss I OK Don't lick face to get me, saliva getting too many, will get up tinea, this it is mother that tell I, I believe her, do not need the believing of any reason. Baa baa - I ride the sheep, but it seems very afraid, making the struggle which shakes off the halter without a break, I give it pieces of chance? No! I wash, the extreme behavior is often yes, breathe out Tremble, have not expected I can not pacify the excessive heartbeat calmly, tense? Angry? In fact understand, it is the baffled wound by oneself Break up with wind from heart My dream
01:17, 2009-Jul-10
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My dream Because people lack what what does it prefer, two leg of me work up, can work up perhaps, but I am a sports fan. I like watch the football game, basketball and other ball match, like, think athletics, swimming, boxing, skate, ski even, the bicycle competes with car, in a word I am an all-round sports fan. Certainly are all from watching on TV, there are very high steps in front of the gymnasiums and stadiums door, I can not go up. If there are excellent sports programs on TV this day, all right, I think once opening eyes in the morning to look like and celebrate a festival generally, what all think of it in the heart no matter do in one day, have a good time in one minute and one second. I afraid a lot of great match concentrate one day or a few days on too sometimes ' For example the Olympic Games that has just closed) ,If so I will delay losing all other important things. I whether two like soccer in fact, the third like literature, like the athletics. I can say what is all track and field event of world records, who keep, whether the time to keep is long or short. For example saying manning long-jump recording to keep covering with, have people can be broken 20 year, but this very fair, jump out more than 8 meters these in located in plateau Mexico city covering with, and eight point seven two meters that Lewis jumped out the plain is in fact greater than the former, but can't be regarded as the world record. These records were remembered by the way by me, the glamour of track and field sports does not lie in noting down, anyway people are only dry God; Strength, will and graceful to can run and can be fully represented jump, from that of people, this's its glamour, it is more interesting than any dance, any dance all seem artificial and even purposely make a mystery of simple things compared with it. Perhaps it is that there are too few dances which I have seen. And you think Lewis or Moses run, stand up, you will think they from to come in being primitive people, the skin that the future of person ceaselessly running to it, whole body such as wind roll like water is most natural dance and the freest song. Different life The person who I like and envy most is Lewis. He is one point eight eight meters in height, the shoulder width leg is long, like a black cheetah, running at will is within ten seconds, jump just in over eight meters at will, and his movements are to unfold, spry and light, rhythmic in the most important match, never like the singing of pop stars, what is gone to do on earth to sing to always letting people suspect this finally. Afraid of joke, ladies and gentlemen of reader, I pray Heaven secretly often, if people really can have next life, I think, the person at that time will be common taller than now, so I should have stature of more than one meter at least; One hectometre of paces at that time will be general quicker than now too, so I can't only run for nine seconds more than nine. Persons who writes novel are mostly daydream patients. Fortunately this daydream does not make me depressed, I am because this Shi Tiesheng of reality is too depressing, just think over this way for him to comfort and yearn for. My fondness and worshipping growing with each passing day to Lewis. It is believed that he is the happiest person in the world. I think have any way can make me become him, I am sure at all costs; If I can have a vigorous and graceful body, this recompense that torment of the incomplete disease must be enough all over of this life like that in next life. On the Olympic Games, I am extremely sad that noon when Johnson defeated Lewis, heart afford to difficult to deal with. Always rake up the scene at noon at the moment: All people hail to Johnson, all flags and flowerses are waved to Johnson, the reporters like the tide go out of the field of match clustering round Johnson, and Lewis is treated coldly aside. Lewis sight that blank at that time, just like pieces of pitiful child, let a burst of me distressed. I am depressed for several days in succession, always think what agony Lewis is at this moment; Unwilling to watch again replay the match for noon on TV, unwilling to listen to others talk about this, even envy Johnson for Lewis, look for a lot of reasons to prove to oneself in the heart or Lewis is most excellent; This is all of no avail naturally, it is defeated miserably more yet than Lewis that I am like, lose very gravely. Is not this something strange? Is not this psychosis in stranger's view? I think of the reason among them slowly. Because has a beautiful idol been broken? If is only so, I can totally erect Johnson again with sorry a period of time, Johnson's majestic appearance is not more inferior than that of Lewis. Because of mine yearns for the past very much, too conservative at heart? But I am very clear, it is a thing that should be celebrated most that the latecomers surpass the old-timers. Have I regretted or Lewis has not run to let? But his best achievement in nine seconds nine two. What on earth the reason is? I knew finally: I have seen it so-called " The happiest person " The unfortunate,last " happiest " of me Lewis that ignorant sight Define waver then crush. God has never given anyone in charity " The happiest" These three words, he sets the eternal distance in front of all people's desire, give everyone the limitation fairly. If can't be surmounting and understanding the happiness from the endless road of my limitation, then to can run with Lewis can afford to running Shi Tiesheng, all depressed and painful origins. If Lewis can't understand these, I believe, that aforesaid noon, he must be the most unfortunate person in the world. On the second day after one hectometre of final, Lewis jumped out eight point seven two meters in long-jump final, he is that one is excellent. It seems he understands, he knows why spirit fire on the mountain is burnt then in Olympic one, that to suffer a defeat for one another person, for have an opportunity, show off to all god a human one unyielding, determined by fate limitation can forever to the limit, unyielding challenge can't or scarce in moment. I do not dare to say Lewis is so, but I hope Lewis is like this, I like and worship such a Lewis passionately devotedly. In this way, my daydream needs redesigning. I would no longer like to only go to change a vigorous and graceful body with all these that I comprehend at least, go to change one meter and height of more than nine and seven nine and even nine seconds nine seconds and pace of six nine, the reason is very simple, I do not want to become the most unfortunate person at a certain noon of next life; Even if people can run for nine seconds five nine, still mean the limitation. I hope, have one vigorous and graceful body have one realize people soul to born meaning also, my hope two and concurrently having. However, the former can wish God's favor, the latter must obtain by oneself in a thousand difficult ten thousands are bitter - -How on earth to design my daydream? Must not say, if which one can't the two hold concurrently wanting to need you? Don't say because people live, have one American dream most while being essential so. Learnt later, Johnson had run for nine seconds seven nine and took excitant. As to this what should we say? I have seen such a news on the newspaper, people of his homeland of Jamaica say: "When Johnson would like to come back, all of us will welcome him, no matter what thing he has done wrong, he is the son of Jamaica. " A few words moves me deeply. We should not have disabled persons to soul, have disabled persons than to limbs, for more sympathy and love? Do not belong to the way
12:14, 2009-Jul-10
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Do not belong to the way The reproduction course of the dog salmon is very soul-stirring. In the reproduction season of the dog salmon, they scale and ford from the rivers from land to inland of abyssal region in crowds, perhaps thousand li is ten thousand li, the journey is unusually difficult. Some so light that just can have water gulf of stone, dog salmon to slope body nearly, rubing the sandstone of the bottom of river to advance struggling. While reaching the shoal, the fatigued dog salmon is all scratched up that rushed about. However, they do not rest yet, the female fish will dig at the river bottom with gravel out pieces of cave, in order to lay eggs. Black and blue, changed beyond recognition after producing the dog salmon of the ovum, finish the place of the reproduction mission in this for generations, batches of badly mutilated dog salmons die solemnly and stirringly, the corpses of many layers of dog salmons float in the river surface. Here is the place where new students' dog salmon's life begins, is the place where the older generation's dog salmon's life ends too, grow and extremely connect so closely and transiently, there is not the leeway to shed tears, there is not the solemn and stirring leeway, so long as set foot on the journey, find it one's obigation to walk forward and not to turn back. I have asked the fish expert, do not have a gentler reproduction way that can be chosen? The expert says, this is the result of evolving naturally, some things must be obtained by the cruel way in the world, including the reproduction course of dog salmon. I have interviewed a ballet dancer. Ten toes, can't find an intact toenail, on the front of the thumb, it is one that rolls the fuzzy meat ball, that is callus that the dance wore into of several decades. Who'd have thought, such a pair of terrible feet, were stepping on the top of foot shoes, rotated the jade foot like the ballet dancer of the butterfly on the stage unexpectedly. The ballet dancer speaks with me while moving the tiptoe: "Though the look of the foot is very ugly now, do not ache, while just beginning to dance, a dance is jumped, the shoes front of top of foot is blackish red and blackish red, there is no person that personally stands, can't experience out unbearable and painful flavour absolutely. " Keep leg, bounce, lower waist, transient cheer and it is in the back of being brilliant to be in the twinkling of an eye, unexpectedly hiding hardships and tribulation in decades. Different life Regret? She flash a block of tears in the eyes. Still use? Before I attempted to dance ballet, I have already given all body and mind the ballet. In addition, what still can I do, what can be done, what is thered is still time to learn to do? When I regret, not so repentant as a place speech. Just as take a ship, weighed anchor, told, there is not a quay in the front. Impossible later, it is impossible to stop, there is not even chink sighing, how are you? This is that one that has no option does not belong to the way, just looks like the dog salmon meeting one's death like a hero, just as the ballet dancer of the celestial appearance happens in the dance, except meeting ahead, do not have the second kind of living law. In fact, life of us such. |
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