2008-Aug-1 - Steve Dublanica, Author of aiter Rant,?Cannot Confirm or Deny
How many of the details did you change?When I wrote my blog, I didn’t want to get fired, so I madequite a few changes. Say a big, fat bald man came in complainingabout some nonsense. I might say it was a thin yuppie guy in aturtleneck, while keeping what the man said and his behavior Table Cloth.How many of the 50 signs that you’re working in a badrestaurant have you personally experienced?.All of them.So you’ve seen a porn screen saver on a POS computer?I should take that back; that was hyperbole. But I haveseen a waiter surfing porn on the POS. I was like, “If acustomer sees you doing that, we’re destroyed.”Most of the book deals with your own interactions with customers.What’s the most outlandish thing you saw otherservers do?We had a very rotund woman eating. The waitress one ofthese slim, pretty, vegan types — was physically nauseated bythe presence of this overweight woman. She came up to me and said,“The woman wants dessert. I don’t think I should giveher dessert.” She equated it to giving a pregnant womanalcohol. I had one waiter who broke up with a girl, and her newboyfriend came with her to the restaurant and the server wasgetting in the guy’s face and they had a yelling match in theback. I had to separate them.During the course of the book you go from being a waiter who hatesyour manager to being a manger who is hated by your waiters.That’s karma. I think the system is broken: It turns us intomonsters. My situation wasn’t unique. I waited my own tables,but I was also the supervisor. The bulk of my money still came fromtips. Most of the money I made an hour, as a manager, went to myhealth insurance, which cost me $450 a month. That led to someconfusion and resentment because people would say,“You’re the manager; you shouldn’t be takingtables.” I’d say, “If I don’t take tables,I won't be able to pay my rent.”You outline the many types of tippers — the “verbaltipper,” for instance, who praises your service, but thenonly tips you 8 percent — but you don’t discuss race,like so many waiter blogs do. Did you think of going there?I was looking at statistics and studies. They sounded verypatronizing: They said a lot of African-Americans tip less thantheir Caucasian counterparts because they’re not exposed towhite-tablecloth dining at the same levels. I read that, andsomething in it was making me go, “Uh, there’ssomething wrong with how that study was set up.” When Istarted, people said, “Black people are not going to tip.Chinese aren’t going to tip.” But what I noticed isthat there are far fewer African-Americans going out to eat inwhite-tablecloth restaurants than Caucasians. The ones who haveshafted me for nine years are Anglo-Saxon men.Did you ever resent fellow waiters because they were better atextracting tips?I had a waiter who was physically stunning. She went into medicalsales. She was enthusiastic, and she was that rare waitress thatcould seduce men but not alienate women (some women might get testyin that situation). She would always walk out with the most money.I was jealous of that, but in order to get the gift I’d haveto go through significant reconstructive surgery.How close did you come to being discovered?I’ve had people e-mail me with the exact location of therestaurant. I would go, “I cannot confirm or deny.”There was someone on Grub Street, a waiter named Cody and everyone thought I was him.Why do you call the Food Network the “Death Star of Americancooking”?They are the PR arm of the food industry. People watch it and havea much more educated palate. That’s great, but the problem isthe expectations have gotten too high. They think every singlething they’re eating has to be sexy or amazing. I mean,it’s okay to have a peanut-butter sandwich! People watch theFood Network, and they assume they know what’s going on in arestaurant. I worked in the restaurant industry for nine years, andI’d never claim to be an authority on restaurants!And you say that that has led to more “foodie speak” or“the seductive language of Big-Food Media.”Foodies are like the guy who learned one karate lesson and thinkshe can kick everyone’s ass. Foodie speak is basicallydescribing the same thing in a million different ways to make itmore appetizing. A peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich becomes,“This is a Jimmy Carter Ranch limited-edition peanut butterbaked by Trappist monks.” Or they throw in“local” — like, “We have localgreens.” In New York City? Did you grow these in your closet?You mention briefly that your restaurant job put a strain on yourrelationships, but you never really explored that.I was not in a relationship when I wrote the book. Sure enough,after I finished the book, I met someone.Was it the woman who slipped you her number in one of the lastchapters?No. Rachel was a lovely dinner and nothing more. I met someone elsewho oddly enough I used to work with at the bistro eight years ago.I used to e-mail her snippets of the book and ask her to check mysense of reality: “Am I overreacting?” She was like,“Oh, no. I was there..RelatedExclusive: The Restaurant in ‘Waiter Rant’ Is Revealed
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