2008-Aug-1 - TV Recap: Project Runway - Season 5 Premiere

Okay, here we are people. This is the beginning of Project Runways 5th and last season on Bravo before it moves to Lifetime. In theinterest of brevity,m not going to name and list all of thecontestants; you can find that Table Cloth hereMost of them arent going to do anything interesting in thisepisode anyway, so well just get to the ones who do. Lets getthis started.So, were about a minute in, and I definitely hate Blayne. Hereshis deal: Hes been designing clothes since he was 16, he writesstuff like Sup Holla on chalkboards and he is addicted totanning. My boyfriend also thinks he is addicted to meth, but thatis entirely speculative.Oh, dear God. So, let us take a minute to talk about Suede. Suedehas actually designed jeans for real designers, such as Jordacheand Todd Oldham. He also talks in the third person, does fingerguns, has a blue Mohawk, owns a sleeveless denim jacket with hisname bedazzled on the back, and is 37 years old. Plus, he goes bythe name Suede. My boyfriend, who is apparently contributing agreat deal to this recap, says that he is this seasons Disco Stu.Disco Stu, as you recall, got his name from trying to bedazzleDisco Stud on the back of a jacket and running out of room. DiscoSuede is going to rock the runway!Guys, Leannes clothing line is really pretty. I would wear most ofwhat they show. She also calls herself the silent fashionassassin. Team Leanne!Its rooftop meeting time at Atlas! Tim and Heidi look lovely, asusual. They have the whole designer meet and greet and nothing toointeresting happens.Early the next morning, Tim shows up to rally everyone for theirfirst challenge. Tim walks his ducklings to the location, whichturns out to be Gristedes, a New York grocery store, which was alsothe location for the first season one challenge. As Tim said,theyve come full circle.Speaking of season 1, Austin Scarlett shows up to tell them abouttheir challenge. Basically, they have to make an outfit usinggrocery store items. They have a budget of $75 and 30 minutes tomake their purchases. They have until midnight to complete theirlook.The designers get back to Parsons, where Tim comes in to tell themthat the winning designer receives immunity. They get started, andm immediately worried. Joes theme is Italian, and it looks asthough he may be gluing pasta to his creation. Come on, Joe, youknow they hate craft projects, and nothing says craft projectlike gluing macaroni to something. standing around, so he goes to himfirst. Blayne introduces Tim to his design, which he callsGirlicious. Tim charitably says that hesnot bored.Tim visits Daniel and looks over his cup dress. Tim tells him hehas a wow factor going on, but cautions him that he has a lot ofwork to do. Hes also impressed with Kellis vacuum bag dress, buttells her to think it through and make it look finished.So, uh, Stella chose garbage bags as her fabric. Just garbage bags.It turns out she got the crappy loud, crinkly ones that tear if youlook at them. So she hasnt done anything. She tells Tim she has adilemma, and Tim just shakes his head at her. Because, come on,lady. MAKE IT WORK.Disco Suede makes a dress out of a table cloth and embellishes itwith poop bags. Its a dress made out of a table cloth. Come on,Disco Suede, you can do better than that. Uh, presumably.Korto also made a dress out of a table cloth. Its a nice dress,but its just made out of a freakintable cloth. Come on. Tim isequally unimpressed with Jerrys shower curtain raincoat. Oh, andjust in case you were wondering, Tim is not enjoying Keiths tablecloth either. Tim makes a general announcement and basically callsthem all slackerwhich they are. The day ends with Stella freakingout about her garbage bags and the majority of the designers tryingto desperately cover their table cloths with marshmallows and such.Runway:Emily: Her dress is made out of a table cloth, balloons and abouncy ball. Its a mini dress with a giant collar.Jerell: His dress is a one-shoulder number made out of a lawn chairand cocktail umbrellas. He used a table cloth, but its not veryobvious.Leanne: Her dress was also made out of a table cloth, but shecovered it in marshmallows, meringue cookies and coffee filters tomake a frothy pink party dress.